Episode 4
After the call that evening, I dropped my
phone on the bed, I began to contemplate on
whether to send the card or not. I think back
to the past and I remembered that she had
bad records when it come to lies. Kemi had
lied so many times to me just to get recharge
cards. I could remembered vividly the day she
called me at 10pm that she needed N400mtn
card to call her families and inform them that
her mother was critically ill and needed
medical attention urgently, I was shocked and
began to shiver that night, “oooh, God please
save my future mother inlaw for me ooo, I
don’t want to loose her at the moment” I was
running helter skater to get the recharge card
that night. I had to rush down to the ATM to
make a VTU transfer when I couldn’t see a
vendor. After transferring the card to her, she
didn’t call me and I didn’t have any airtime on
my phone to call her. I had to use a
neighbour’s phone to call her. I intentionally
adjust my voice when I called her.
ME: hello kemi,
KEMI: who is this? *****is he the one calling?
****** “another lady was asking her at the
background”
ME: ***angried and amazed*** its me kunle
KEMI: ***replied the other lady, “No, its not
him, its another person”**** kunle from where
please?
ME: from lagos.
KEMI: can’t recollect such identity. How did
you get my number please? *****the
background lady: cut him off jaree and let’s
call another person****
Hello, pls call me tomorrow morning. I’m busy
at the moment
ME: ok ****hanged up****.
From the little drama. I knew it already that I
was played. But I was blinded with love to
express my feelings.
All the memories of her past lies was flashing
back in my brain. Then I thought of it again,
“what if her next visitation is actually true?”. I
began to imagine the pictures of her gorgeous
look and endowed packages I had been seeing
on her facebook profile, I began to imagine
myself squeezing and experimenting her killer
“ukwu”. Immediately, I became totally
confused on whether to send the card or not?.
After few minutes of contemplating, then I
remembered I have a friend who once delivered
me from a scammer. Then I decided to chat
with “sege” on whatsapp concerning kemi’s
matter.
ME: ogbeni how far?
SEGE: oko bimpe, I dey oooooo.
ME: you know well, who be oko bimpe?
SEGE: eeeh, sorry, Mr maga I mean jaree
ME: you no well ni
SEGE: loooool
ME: errrhhhm, you still remember this girl,
kemi?
SEGE: who is kemi?
ME: that my babe wey I tell you say she dey
stay for lag na.
SEGE: I no remember ooo.
ME: the one I met before bimpe na.
SEGE: oooooooooooooh, that your recharge
card babe abi?.
ME: yeah
SEGE: wetin do her?
ME: she just called me say she dey come
akure next weekend
SEGE: that one nice na. Na kitten weekend be
that for you na.
ME: you no well
SEGE: are you guys still dating?
ME: we never broke up before, we only stopped
communicating with each other
SeGE: and wetin be that one?, no be break-up
be that.
ME: that one aside jaree. She said I should
send her airtime.
SEGE: hmmmmm. I trust you say you don send
am already.
ME: no oooo, I am contemplating on whether
to send or not.
SEGE: that babe na cheap airtime scammer.
But since she talk say she dey come akure, risk
this last one and send like 200mtn sha.
Atleast to pour water on ground and then walk
on wet ground.
ME: thanks jaree my guy.
SEGE: I hear. But don’t send another airtime
again until you set your eyes on her oooooo.
ME: I hear.
The following morning on my way to work, I
stopped at a vendor and got a N200 airtime
for kemi. As usual, she only called to thank
me in 12 seconds and later hanged up. 3days
gone and I didn’t hear from kemi again until
the 4th night which was thursday night when
she called me again.
ME: hello dear, how are you?
KEMI: I’m fine dear, thanks for the other day
ME: you are welcome dear
KEMI: I also want to remind you that I would
be around next weekend oooo. And you will
talk me out and buy gifts for me ooo.
ME: no problem dear.
KEMI: thanks love. I’m missing you seriously
ME: same here
KEMI: that’s my baby. Errrrrrhmm honey, can
you please help me with a little airtime
please?, even if it is just N200 please
Episode 5
Recharge card again?, what do I do this time?,
segun must not hear this, and I don’t want her
to change her mind about coming over to see
me, but seriously, I was tired of this airtime
demands of a thing but at the same time, I
wanted to fucck kemi.
I decided to risk it again and transfer N100
airtime to her from my phone. One thing about
kemi was that, whenever she gets an airtime
below what she requested for, she would never
call back to appreciate but if she gets the
exact amount she requested for, she would call
back and spend maximum of 30seconds on a
call. After the transfer, she didn’t call back as
usual and I ignored her.
On saturday, I went to visit segun and we had
a chat about kemi. I told segun that kemi
would be around on the following week and
my guy came up with a master plan as usual.
ME: sege, that my babe go arrive next
weekend ooooo
SEGE: bimpe or kemi?
ME: which one be bimpe again jor?, its kemi
SEGE: oooooh, the airtime merchandise?
ME: na you sabi.
SEGE: but is she staying over at your place?,
or just stopping by to visit?
ME: we never discuss that one yet
SEGE: all the same, you must sample that girl
at this only opportunity oooo. Or else, u might
not see another opportunity again.
ME: I go try sha.
SEGE: you must do ni. You know hungry girls
like kemi requires special tactics to get them
laid.
ME: really?, gist me.
SEGE: firstly, you must act or fake it that you
have money to spend on her when she is
around, you must be good at fake promises
and your mouth must be loaded with lies, na
that thing dey give them hope say “hmmm, I
must maga this guy, e be like say e get
money”
ME: hmmmm sege!!!!, and after that nko?
****getting interesting*****,
SEGE: you must be smart to play your game
wella so as not to miss the fuccking. Make
sure that u post all the spending till after s-x,
and not before.
ME: I still don’t understand
SEGE: mr maga, listen. If you spend before
planning to have s-x, you might not get it,
just keep making mouth till you get what you
want.
ME: I hear you ooooo.
SEGE: when she dey with you. Call me and we
go act drama for her.
ME: mr sege!!!!!, I dey fear you oooo
SEGE: you think say I be mumu like you?. Na
me dey scam girls, girls no dey dupe me.
Loooool.
I returned home that night. Segun and I began
our rehearsals on whatsapp ahead of kemi’s
arrival. Ever since I was growing up, I had
always have this mentality that “the more you
spend for her, the more she loves you” but
segun changed my orientation and made me
realize that most times, “the more you spend
blindly, the more you are a maga”.
Between monday and Wednesday of the
following week, kemi called me more than 5
times but I didn’t pick up, I intentionally
refused to pick up because I knew she would
always demand for airtime. On thursday
morning, I called her myself.
ME: hello kemi
KEMI: my love, how are you?, why did you
refused picking my calls for the past four
days?
ME: I’m sorry, the phone was on silent since
sunday night and I misplaced it since then. I
tried calling the number from another phone
to trace it but it wasn’t ringing out, it was this
morning that I found it inside the kitchen
cupboard.
KEMI: eeyah, sorry about that my love, I was
thinking you were with another girl, maybe
that’s why you refused to pick up.
ME: ****oloshi, this one wey you dey call me
“my love” I know say na “send me airtime” go
end am********, baby when are you coming?.
KEMI: I would arrive this evening, but the
event is tomorrow and saturday.
ME: are you staying over at my place?
KEMI: ***laughs****
ME: why laughing?
KEMI: you are funny ni, I’m coming with my
family, we would be staying over at the place
provided for us. since I’m not alone, I won’t be
able to stay over at your place.
ME: huuuuuh, how do I take you out for
shopping then?
KEMI: eeeeeeehhh!!! You mean you want to
shop for me?
ME: yes, I am even buying a phone for you
since you said your phone is giving you
issues.
KEMI: huuuuh. That’s why I love you honey.
But why don’t we do it like this?
ME: how?
KEMI: please do all the shopping and bring it
to me where I would be staying, I might not be
chanced to spend time outside, sebi I told you
I would be with my family?
ME: ****heartbroken “oloshi”******* no
problem dear, let’s postpone all the shopping
and gifts to another day that you would have
time. I can’t just be roaming about
supermarkets alone on my own without you by
my side, I would only come and say Hi to you
wherever you are. That’s all
KEMI: common dear, so you won’t bring
anything for me?
ME: not sure, maybe apples only sha.
KEMI: haba!!!, ok you know what!
ME: what?
KEMI: let me get to akure first, then I would
know how to squeeze out time to go out with
you.
ME: that’s my baby
KEMI: are you happy now?
ME: off course. So what time will u get to
akure?
KEMI: can’t say yet, but we would leave home
by 10am sha.
ME: ok dear, can’t wait to see you
KEMI: same here dear
ME: pls let me know when you are around
KEMI: ok my love, eeeerhm my love, please
can you do me a favour please!!
ME: ***hanged up*****, oloshi, the only favour
I have been doing you is Airtime, “omo-ale
Episode 6
………………. After the call
I went to work and chat with my friend segun
along side. I narrated my recent action to him
and he told me I was getting smarter. We
discussed how kemi’s package will look like,
and trust my guy, he came with a very brilliant
plan. He said we would act like brothers, I
would be the elder brother while he would be
the younger brother.
I smiled and said to myself, “hope say sege no
go push me to jail some day sha”, but on a
serious note, its good to have the good, the
bad, and the ugly friends and I don’t even
know the category that segun belongs to.
After closing for the day’s job at 5pm, I was
so tired and I couldn’t stop over at segun’s
house, I went home straight and fell over the
bed to relax. At 7pm, my phone was ringing
and I looked at the screen, it was my beloved
kemi calling.
ME: hello love
KEMI: call me back please ***hanged up****
What is this girl up to?, haba!!!, she had never
call for 3 minutes before, always saying “call
me back”. I wait for like 10minutes before
returning the call
ME: hello love
KEMI: hi. How are you?
ME: I’m fine, and you?
KEMI: I’m fine too. What happened to your
phone the other time in the morning?
ME: sorry about that jaree, the credit was
exhausted and the call terminated.
KEMI: hmmmmmmmm. I thought you don’t
want to talk to me ni.
ME: haba!!, no naw. So where are you
KEMI: I’m now in akure
ME: really?, where in akure?
KEMI: I don’t know dear, ok hold on let me ask
someone ******background:kemi: pls what is
the name of this place?. Response: oda
road*********** ok onihaxy, they said its oda
road.
ME: eeeyah, not to far from my area sha.
About 30 to 40minute taxi drive.
KEMI: really?
ME: yes. So how do we see?
KEMI: I don’t know yet ooooo, and I would be
so busy tomorrow in cooking assistance.
ME: so what about saturday?
KEMI: I will be busy too
ME: so what do we do now? I can’t wait to
see you dear.
KEMI: same here. Ok let’s do it this way
ME: how?
KEMI: to save time, let’s meet at the shopping
plaza, text the location to me, you will get
there before me and I will meet you there.
ME: *****oloshi, you dey prove smart abi?, na
me you wan use brain for?. Thanks to sege’s
tutorials******* that will be bit difficult dear
KEMI: why?
ME: my younger brother is around and wanted
to see you, infact, he should have travelled
yesterday but he said he would wait till your
arrival.
KEMI: who is that? And did you tell him
anything about me?
ME: my cousin .yes I told him lots about you
KEMI: and what was that?
ME: that you are my love, the girl I wanted to
marry. And he said he wanted to see his
brother’s wife. Infact, he has a gift to give you.
KEMI: really?. What is the gift?
ME: he didn’t show me, neither did he tell me.
He said its for you alone and its a surprise.
He would travel immediately after seeing you.
KEMI: oooooo God, and I would be busy
oooooo, ok, let’s see what would happen
tomorrow sha.
ME: that’s my love.
KEMI: onihaxy please….
ME: **** interrupted**** heeeeee, honey please
I will call you back, my food is burning
seriously. ****hanged up*****
*****Oloshi, I knew that it is “baby send me
airtime” that would follow the “onihaxy
please”
At 9pm, I called kemi again to discuss on how
we would meet.
ME: hi love
KEMI: how are you dear?
ME: I’m fine, and you?
KEMI: I’m doing great.
ME: so how do we see and when?,
KEMI: let’s see if I could sneak out tomorrow
to see you. Hope your place isn’t far from
here?
ME: no dear, its along the main road. If you
take a bike, the bike man will drop you exactly
infront of my house.
KEMI: please I won’t stay long outside
because of my family, I don’t want them to
suspect that I’m missing. So you would stay
infront of your house and the same bike that
brought me would takes us both to the outing.
ME: ***oloshi, na me you dey prove smart for
abi?*******, no problem dear
KEMI: alright dear, what are the things you
are buying for me?
ME: just wait till tomorrow and see the
surprises that awaits you.
KEMI: that’s why I love you. Baby please
transfer little airtime to me please
ME: it late, and I don’t have sufficient airtime
on my phone. Let’s make it tomorrow.
KEMI: ok dear, take care
ME: bye ***hanged up********
I chat with segun after to call to gist him
about kemi’s outdoor plans. I was so confused
on how to convince her to bed. Segun assured
me that I shouldn’t worry as he would take
charge of everything. We had our last
rehearsals that night on his plans of how to
execute kemi’s parole.
8am the second day which was friday, I woke
up very early. I had took a time off from work
earlier on thursday on the pretence that I was
sick and needed to go to the hospital for
treatment. I changed my bedsheets, stocked
my portable fridge with 3 can malts and fruits,
I went to the nearby chemist to purchase a
pack of condom and I sprayed the whole room
with air refresher. Indeed, nobody cleans a
house faster than a guy expecting a new girl.
9:25am, kemi flashed me and I called back,
ME: hello love
KEMI : hi dear.
ME: how was your night?
KEMI: it was fine. Where is my airtime?
ME: I’m sorry dear, I’m still on bed, I haven’t
gone out yet
KEMI: why can’t you send your brother to buy
it?
ME: he went out very early this morning and
he hasn’t returned yet.
KEMI: send your address, I should be on my
way any moment from now. And first thing, I
will collect my airtime when I arrive.
ME: ok love, no problem.
KEMI: bye
ME: bye.
I sent the detailed address to kemi and I also
inform my goon (segun) about kemi’s coming.
35minutes later, segun arrived fully dressed
and pulling a leather box. We hugged and gist
about how we would execute our plans neatly.
While we were having gists and fun. My phone
rang and it was kemi calling.
ME: hi love, where are you?
KEMI: I just dropped from a bike at the front
of your house, Please come outside and let’s
hurry up, the bike-man is waiting.
ME: ok *****hanged up*******.
I turned to segun with a sad face full of
disappointment. Segun saw the look on my
face.
ME: segun, I’m not sure this plan will work
out?
SEGE: why not leave all the plans to the event
planner?.
ME: but she still insisted on waiting outside?
SEGE: mr maga, just calm down. Let’s go
outside and welcome her, I will take charge of
the situation. Trust me my guy.
ME: yes boss
*****************************
To be continued.....
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